Res Ipsa Eloquent

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:48:25 GMT

Wow. It's been a while and a half, huh? Ok, for the news updates:

1. Got promoted very very recently to International Lawyer within my firm. I get to stay in the same team and do the exact same work, but get the perks of a lawyer as opposed to those awarded to the staff. Also a small pay hike. Nowhere near as much as it ought to be, but as least now I'm being screwed a bit less.

2. Very very recently returtned from a 10-day trip to California. Went to the bay area with my folks to visit my brother. Liked Frisco a lot; loved Little Italy. Awesome neighbourhood with great food and coffee! I might prefer DC over Frisco, though, in general. DC is prettier. And I also might favour Philly over Frisco, but that could very well be because I lived in the former for 4 whole years.

3. Gained a ton of flab in the last 3 months with the result of most of my wardrobe not fitting me. Down in the dumps about that, but working on it.

4. What's scarier is that I'm like a hair's breadth away from hitting 30 and my mtabolism has gone for a toss. I used to be able to drop weight like that, but in the last 4-5 months, it's taking me a lot longer to do so. Harbinger of my life post-30...

5. Speaking of, I'm hosting a mega bash for my 30th birthday. Planning to get both professional and amateur male strippers!!! It's been so damn long since I've seen a naked male body, jeeeesus! So anyway. Have given notice to all my guy friends to go hit the gym and shape up in time for the bash. Amatuer (free) strippers, oh yeeeaaaahhhh!!!

6. Saw Hangover when I was in CA.... "Not you, fat Jesus." High-larious.

Squee moment

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:51:48 GMT

The commencement speaker at my brother's graduation ceremony this June is June Anthony Kennedy!!!!!!!!!!

I am seriously spectacularly excited in a uber-geeky way!

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 09:50:33 GMT

The motivation to post is just not there. What I have to say, for the most part, is terribly repetitive. It's as simple as this - I don't have a habit of posting daily or even every other day, and I also dont have a habit of posting when I'm cheerful. So that leaves gloomy posting. I feel gloomy for 3 reasons, and have been gloomy the past 2 years for the same 3 reasons. What's more, I'm going to remain gloomy for these same 3 reasons in future. So posting is just not happening.

I'm still waiting for that promotion at work. Looks highly highly unlikely, except a mere title change. Highly unlikely that I'll find even a first date which I'd look forward to. And let's not even talk about going back to the US anytime soon. Status quo prevails.

What is new, however, is the feeling of bitterness I've managed to imbibe into my system. I'm quite possibly one of the most cheerful people ever, a right little ray of sunshine, even when things are not always good. But I'm now getting bitter and the sentiment is only growing stronger with each passing month. Thankfully I genuinely enjoy my life but contentedness is something which eludes me. I don't see that changing in the near future.

I also have realised that being me in Asia means being viewed as a guy, by a lot of people. I drop the f-bomb regularly and that's apparently a very guy thing to do even in a place as cosmopolitan and modern as Singapore. This is weird because when I was in Philly, I was viewed as a "Lady", someone kinda prim and proper, but with an edge. Here, I am an edgy bloke who just dresses feminine. It's a tad disorienting and a teeny bit frsutrating. I wanna shake 'em all by their shoulders and tell them to just, for heaven's sake, grow up and not be quite so retardedly and maddeningly stck-in-the-mud.

But I guess that would be guy-behaviour and heavily frowned upon. Oh well.

Twitter

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:03:21 GMT

Why's it such a hugeass phenomenon in the days of facebook? Is it worth signing up or is it just a media-fed hype? Thoughts!

Perfection

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 01:09:34 GMT

Hugh Jackman is the epitome of male perfection. He seems to be a good father, a loving husband, and most importantly, can't argue with those chiselled features and body of his. I am looking through the Oscars photos and... he takes my breath away! I may be in Love.

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:40:22 GMT

I'm just gonna move right past where I explain/apologise/justify my silence on LJ and post.

I am okay, work is very very very busy but meaningful and intellectually stimulating, and my social life has escalated beyond compare. I previously used to not go anywhere on the weekends, but I no longer have that option/luxury. I love my friends, and I am now meeting new people and making new friends who are very electic and interesting. And I have a blast everytime I'm out. All that's just dandy and I am thankful for my life on a day-to-day basis.

But I seem to be greatly unlucky in romance. I think i may finally have gotten over Othello but not entirely. At this point it is more the love I seem to have for the kind of relationship I had with him than the love that I have/had for him. But the real test of course is how I'd feel if I were to see him in person and especially if I see him with anyone he's dating or in a relationship with. So till the time I can be sure that even the vestiges of my love have vapourised, I'm maintaining the lack of contact with him.

The French tourist thing died down, was resurrected, was breathed fresh life into, even walked with a spring in its step, but all only to finally die down again. For good this time. We had been talking almost everyday and he even came down to Singapore to spend time with me a couple of weeks back, and I realised that I liked him more than I thought I did. But in our brief talk about the subject, I realised there was absolutely no future in this "relationship". After mulling over things, my recent history, I came to a decision that I needed to nip this thing in the bud. Before I somehow ended up getting hurt again. So I told him that no hard feelings, but this had to stop. It's hard, and I miss him, but if it feels like a bummer now, it would be worse in a couple of months. And I just do not have the strength for yet another failed attempt at having a lasting relationship, not when I'm not 100% recovered from the previous one.

Maybe it is the Asian in me, or the age, or just my disposition in life - whatever it is I can't reel in my feelings. I'm all or nothing; I can either do one-nighters or a full-blown I'm-madly-in-love-with-you-and-hopefully-will-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you thing. I am not lookign to get married anytime soon, but I think I have reached that stage where I feel I want a loving long-term relationship that has potential to endure through the future.

Having gotten to that stage, and then realising I'm very likely not going to even have a single interesting date till the time I leave Singapore, has been hard. I really meant it when I said I am very happy with my life on a day-to-day basis - I smile, I laugh, I truly enjoy my moments and what they bring - but sometimes it hits me that for at least the next 6 months to a year, I'm not even going to have a date I'm excited about. And that ... blows.

Compounding that is a fact that I still miss Philly and know there's nothing I can do about that for at least a year. The earliest I can realistically get back to Philly would be summer 2010, being a foreigner and all. I honestly don't know what avenues I can explore for getting a job and moving back to Philly within the year. That's sorta left me feeling down, too.

In sum: I'm happy, I'm okay, but...

Happy 2009!

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 09:29:04 GMT

On this last day of 2008, a post to remind myself that:

1. I am generally happy;

2. I have a job I love to do;

3. It's a stable job;

4. I have stable, loving, decent family;

5. A terrific set of friends;

6. A good boss & excellent colleagues;

7. General health & income-earning potential.

Things could be a lot worse.

Happy New Year to everyone!

2008 in review

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:17:15 GMT

Stolen unabashedly from tommybarbarella :

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Became an attorney.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make resolutions, but vaguely plan on making some

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A cousin of mine had a boy. This cousin and I used to be quite close sometime back and suppose we still are, although we talk a lot less.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
United States, India, Thailand.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Peace of mind. Better pay. And a better body.

7. What dates will you remember from 2008?
Oct 7th - when I found out I passed the PA bar. Feb 5th - when Othello broke up with me. July 5th - when Othello told me he did not love me anymore and was seeing someone else seriously.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? .
Passing the PA bar.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting over Othello.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.

11. What was the best thing you bought/received?
Bought too many things I like.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Obama's. Honourable mention goes to Michelle Obama.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin's.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I am ashamed to say I spent a boatload on clothes and accessories this year. And food & alcohol.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? .
Passing the bar, the Phillies' "world fuckin" championship, Obama's victory.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
Amy Winehouse's Back to Black, You know I'm no good; Timbaland's Give it to me, The way I are, Boardmeeting, and Bombay.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: fatter or thinner? Slightly thinner.
richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? .
I don't celebrate it, but I guess I will be lounging at home watching tv and cleaning (hopefully).

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, but I managed to cling onto love that should have been given the boot.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Damages. 24 is a dangerously close second.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

25. What was the best book you read?
I have no answer to this.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Anoushka Shankar.

27. What did you want and get?
PA Bar membership.

28. What did you want and not get?
This is predictable - Othello.

29. What were your favorite films of this year? .
The Dark Knight.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I boycotted my birthday this year and made sure I was on the plane somewhere over central Asia on my birthday to avoid celebrating it.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Either a set career as an attorney (S'pore or the US), or a stable romantic relationship with Othello.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Quite commendable.

33. What kept you sane?
My job & kickass friends.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Christian Bale. He's YUMMY.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The bailouts. If the US Presidential election qualifies as an "issue", then that.

36. Who did you miss?

Othello (this answer is getting boring).

37. Who was the best new person you met?
The whole bunch of people at work. They seriously make my day everyday.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Consequences can be severely dire sometimes.

Vacation

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:35:30 GMT

Hi all, I'm going to be in india for the next 10 days. Posting will be either nil or very spotty till the 23rd. See you when I'm back.

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 03:04:29 GMT

It's been ages since I posted anything substantial. A few things have been getting in the way of that - nothing of substance has really happened. That said, here are a few things worth mentioning.

I got my paperwork sorted and am now finally a PA attorney. The next step is for me to talk to Boss and try to get promoted at work, as a Foreign Lawyer. Things at work have been kinda quiet this weke since half my team is on leave and most of the major pieces of work for the year are done. I suppose I shoudl take this opportunity to talk to my boss but man, I am not looking forward to it. Mostly because I'm afraid I'll be told status quo is gonna be maintained. The firm holds all the chips and given the economic climate, it is most likely to say just that. Which is terribly unfair and all that, but what am I gonna do right. Throw in the towel?

Next Friday, I am going to India with my folks for a week. To visit a couple of temples, and my grandparents and some uncles and aunts, whom I haven't seen in 6 years. The last time I met them was before I left for the US, close to 6 years ago.

My social life's humming but only because I'm going out with friends. No guys in the picture. I've come to the conclusion that being a single non-Chinese girl in S'pore past the age of 25 can never be good. Relationship-wise. I don't mind dating anyone younger than me but most non-Chinese younger guys are married, sometimes with kids. And I just don't find Chinese guys attractive, purely from an aesthetics perspective. No racism to it, which is kinda bad cos if there were, I might at least try to change that mindset! The worst thing is that the whites in S'pore seem to have yellow fever; Chinese girls are IT. That's taking some getting used to, coming from Philly. And of course, it narrows the dating pool considerably for me. So basically I should move out of S'pore if I want to start dating again without totally compromising my standards.

Which leads to my next woe. As much as I miss Philly and the US in general, I don't see how I can get back in the next year. The earliest i can see it happening is early 2010. It's demotivating to see news on layoffs, especially in the legal circles, and it does nothing to motivate me to send out resumes or whatever.

All in all, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and see no way out of it. My day-to-day life is just fine, because it is filled with a myriad of distractions. But if I pause to think about the big picture, about my life as a whole, it is terrifying and saddening.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:04:49 GMT

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Free Agent

17% Anxiety Over Abandonment and 30% Avoidance Of Intimacy

You like to be independent, to play by your own rules. You're not terribly interested in finding a partner and settling down, and it makes you nervous to imagine that someone might depend on you for anything. Were you to find the right partner--someone as independent as you, probably--you'd not be too put out about sharing your adventures with him/her.

Fictional characters with whom you might identify: Han Solo (Star Wars), Beatrice ("Much Ado About Nothing")

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	\|	The Cuddleslut	\|	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	\|	The Squid	\|	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	\|	The Leper	\|	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	\|	The Stone	\|	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

A cop-out post

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:14:13 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now (even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a completely made up, fictional memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - but it has to be fake.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and I will post a fictional memory of you and me on your page.

UPDATE: Thanks to those who played. I'll cook up some zany memories and post them on your blog in just a couple of days. But one question - do I just post my memory randomly or are you guys gonna make a post about this and I leave a comment with my memory there??

That drunk post

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:51:13 GMT

The one I had promised august_baby27

HOLY SHIT.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:45:09 GMT

History. History. Pure History!

I have no words.

Election!

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:15:12 GMT

I have had my doubts about the voters' judgment, but it looks like America might just get it right this time. Even if it is four years late.

GO PA!!!!

I am so excited about this election that it feels bizarre and flatout wrong to me that instead of being out at a bar with a rowdy and enthusiastic crew of Americans cheering as the results roll in, I'm sitting in the office on Nov 5th morning trying to get my day's legal research started.

Next election, though, things will be different. I've made a personal promise to myself that I WILL be in the thick of the action.

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:35:59 GMT

I'm following baseball for the first ever time because hell, the Phillies are a hair's breadth away from lifting the trophy!! I'm actually feeling the flutterings of nervous anticipation!

Just a few hours more...

Geek news

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:14:29 GMT

Iiiiiiinteresting.

Post-high

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 02:52:23 GMT

Now that the bar passage news high has worn off, I'm trying to assemble all its practical ramifications into a mental compartment and deal with them. I don't know what this means for my current job, and I guess I'm not sure how this will affect my chances of going back to Philly with a job, realistically speaking. The market is in the crapper, so I'm guessing Philly firms aren't exactly in a twitter to hire foreigners, whom they can't even interview in person.

Within my current firm, things dont look too much rosier, either. I spoke with HR about what my bar passage would mean and she said it may very likely not mean anything. I was told that they would have to "re-hire" me and the criteria for that will be a lot different from what were used to hire me as a Legal Executive (my current title). She said I need to talk to my boss before anything else can be done, so yesterday I talked to him. Asked him what my options are in the firm now that I've passed the PA Bar. His first question: "Is there a precedent for this?" And there is none, of course. I am 99% sure I am the only non-American in S'pore who is qualified in PA. Most lawyers here are either purely locally qualified or are UK & S'pore qualified, or worst case scenario, locally qualified, and then took the NY bar. So my boss was stumped with my question, and HR was stumped, and I'm totally bewildered. And terribly frustrated and anxious. Because fuck if I don't get a pay raise even after becoming an attorney!

Ultimately, after me and Boss both looked at each other, clueless as to how to continue the conversation, he said he'll send out a firm-wide mail regarding my situation and we'll take it from there. Boss is going on leave from tomorrow, so I don't know when I'll hear back about this.

Pandering to the audience

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:29:43 GMT

co_techie had asked for a drunk post on Friday. I was unable to oblige because I really wasn't sufficiently drunk. But I tell you what, I will make sure I get hammered at some point either this week or next, and then come back to blog something high-larious. Because that's how much I love my readers - I will make an ass of myself to please them ;)

Thank you

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:10:48 GMT

To all those who congratulated me about the bar news, thanks. I was walking on air all day yesterday and bought a huge box of donuts for people in my firm. It was awesome. I wanted to go shop later but I also had dinner plans later-later (errrr... ok), so I wasn't able to browse as much as I would've liked to. i ended up not buying anything, but I am not deterred!

I am heading to the Law Society of Singapore's Dinner & Dance event tonight with some of my colleagues. It's open bar. I intend to celebrate. Hard.

Have a great weekend, folks. See ya later!

Short and sweet

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:48:04 GMT

I passed the PA Bar.

I can't stop smiling. I look retarded, but I'm too fucking happy (and relieved) to care!

Drag

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 03:34:08 GMT

As in slow, not the other exciting meaning. I've been lethargic about posting on LJ, but I've noticed that the last couple of months have been lethargic for most of my F-List-ers, too. This has somehow spurred me to do a post. After all, if the bar is set low, there are no expectations, right?

The Oktoberfest party was a smashing success. People left my place either very full of food or full of alcohol. And definitely full of smiles. I'm now looking firmly forward to the next big bash, most likely for Halloween.

Last friday night, I proceeded to get hammered. Which should not have been surprising given that i started drinking around 5.30pm and did not stop till about 1am. A cocktail, beer, a whole bottle of Riesling, 2 glasses of chardonnay, and one bottle of Heineken to top it all off. And not a lot of food in all of it. I was apparently very very entertaining and I remember laughing a lot. So I guess the evening was a success.

I am awaiting the PA bar results this week; it's been scheduled for friday. So I'm either gonna be roaring drunk from celebrating or from depression. The less said on this topic, the better. Given my history.

Boys are disappointing me like there's no tomorrow. There was a sudden spike of activities about a month or so back, where my love stock seemed quite up. But woefully, my love life has now gone the way of the global financial markets. I'd like to know if there's a bailout plan for me in the pipeline cos, let me tell you, I need some serious salvaging. There was a French tourist with whom things seemed to be going well. He came down here again to meet me and talk about "things". The trip did not go well. Between his increasingly horrible case of jetlag and my PMS-ing, both of us were confused. He's due to come down to S'pore again next week, but this time for a vacay to Malaysia & Laos with his friend. I don't know what's going to happen then. I like this bloke a fair bit and I'm quite disappointed that what had looked sorta promising before is now near-comatose. Next week will see either the pulling of the plug or resuscitation of our "relationship".

There was another boy in the picture, kind of. He's in my area and we had lunch once, a coupla months before the bar. I was pretty interested in him and kinda excited about it, because I rarely find any Singaporeans attractive in every way. But I didn't know if he was even remotely interested in me. After that lunch, I came away a little less interested in him and still no clue as to how he felt about me. After the bar, I tried asking him to lunch... and I'm still waiting for an answer. Doesn't bode well, does it. So yea, kinda feeling the stings of rejection.

Aside from that, there's work, which is chugging along. I was feeling a tad uninspired by it, which I did not like, so i volunteered to draft a court submission. It's due in 2 weeks, so I now have something to keep me engaged for a bit.

Well, that's me in a rather-big-nutshell. How are things with the rest of ya?

Random sound bites

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 07:59:54 GMT

I understand the blessing of having good friends in abundance, and not having to try too hard to have a semi-decent social life. But when you have been trying to also schedule gymming for roughly 3 weeks and have been successful but once, the blessing tends to fray just a little.

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:53:32 GMT

My laptop has somehow been infected with some bug, and it doesn't let me go to LJ. I have to resort to doing this at work, which has been very very hectic the last couple of weeks. Hence the unexplained absence.

I have been good, very busy with work, and catchign up on my social life. It's been almost 2 months since I touched back at Changi airport after taking the bar, and it's been a full 2 months. I like. I got to watch a 9-day trial, my first, although I missed the tail end of it. It was exciting, nevertheless. This Saturday, I am throwing an Oktoberfest party at my place. It's sort of an open-house concept, where I have my house open to the public from morning 11+ till night 11+. This should be tons of fun. I love entertaining and this is my first party in quite a while.

Other than that, I have joined a gym because I am woefully unfit, but have only gone a grand total of 2 times. I do intend to start going a lot more often from next week... once the party is out of the way.

Social life has been humming like nobody's business. Which is really and truly great. But it leaves a huge hole in my pocket, and doesn't let me go to the gym, either. But aside from those (acceptable?) drawbacks, it's awesome. I had burrowed myself for a few months because of the bar and a lot of other things, so it feels very good to poke my head out and see what's been up with people.

I have been on a couple of dates. I won't say more till things have settled on that end.

Ok, so that's it for now. I will post more often starting next week.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:07:47 GMT

Not really feelin it. Bear with me a while, folks. Just been uber-busy catching up on my social life and such.