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(no subject) [Jun. 30th, 2009|03:37 pm]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |relaxedrelaxed]

Wow. It's been a while and a half, huh? Ok, for the news updates:

1. Got promoted very very recently to International Lawyer within my firm. I get to stay in the same team and do the exact same work, but get the perks of a lawyer as opposed to those awarded to the staff. Also a small pay hike. Nowhere near as much as it ought to be, but as least now I'm being screwed a bit less.

2. Very very recently returtned from a 10-day trip to California. Went to the bay area with my folks to visit my brother. Liked Frisco a lot; loved Little Italy. Awesome neighbourhood with great food and coffee! I might prefer DC over Frisco, though, in general. DC is prettier. And I also might favour Philly over Frisco, but that could very well be because I lived in the former for 4 whole years.

3. Gained a ton of flab in the last 3 months with the result of most of my wardrobe not fitting me. Down in the dumps about that, but working on it.

4. What's scarier is that I'm like a hair's breadth away from hitting 30 and my mtabolism has gone for a toss. I used to be able to drop weight like that, but in the last 4-5 months, it's taking me a lot longer to do so. Harbinger of my life post-30...

5. Speaking of, I'm hosting a mega bash for my 30th birthday. Planning to get both professional and amateur male strippers!!! It's been so damn long since I've seen a naked male body, jeeeesus! So anyway. Have given notice to all my guy friends to go hit the gym and shape up in time for the bash. Amatuer (free) strippers, oh yeeeaaaahhhh!!!

6. Saw Hangover when I was in CA.... "Not you, fat Jesus." High-larious.
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Squee moment [Apr. 15th, 2009|04:50 pm]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |giddygiddy]

The commencement speaker at my brother's graduation ceremony this June is June Anthony Kennedy!!!!!!!!!!

I am seriously spectacularly excited in a uber-geeky way!
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(no subject) [Apr. 12th, 2009|05:34 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood |crankycranky]

The motivation to post is just not there. What I have to say, for the most part, is terribly repetitive. It's as simple as this - I don't have a habit of posting daily or even every other day, and I also dont have a habit of posting when I'm cheerful. So that leaves gloomy posting. I feel gloomy for 3 reasons, and have been gloomy the past 2 years for the same 3 reasons. What's more, I'm going to remain gloomy for these same 3 reasons in future. So posting is just not happening.

I'm still waiting for that promotion at work. Looks highly highly unlikely, except a mere title change. Highly unlikely that I'll find even a first date which I'd look forward to. And let's not even talk about going back to the US anytime soon. Status quo prevails.

What is new, however, is the feeling of bitterness I've managed to imbibe into my system. I'm quite possibly one of the most cheerful people ever, a right little ray of sunshine, even when things are not always good. But I'm now getting bitter and the sentiment is only growing stronger with each passing month. Thankfully I genuinely enjoy my life but contentedness is something which eludes me. I don't see that changing in the near future.

I also have realised that being me in Asia means being viewed as a guy, by a lot of people. I drop the f-bomb regularly and that's apparently a very guy thing to do even in a place as cosmopolitan and modern as Singapore. This is weird because when I was in Philly, I was viewed as a "Lady", someone kinda prim and proper, but with an edge. Here, I am an edgy bloke who just dresses feminine. It's a tad disorienting and a teeny bit frsutrating. I wanna shake 'em all by their shoulders and tell them to just, for heaven's sake, grow up and not be quite so retardedly and maddeningly stck-in-the-mud.

But I guess that would be guy-behaviour and heavily frowned upon. Oh well.
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Twitter [Feb. 26th, 2009|11:01 am]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |busybusy]

Why's it such a hugeass phenomenon in the days of facebook? Is it worth signing up or is it just a media-fed hype? Thoughts!
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Perfection [Feb. 24th, 2009|09:07 am]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |enthralledenthralled]

Hugh Jackman is the epitome of male perfection. He seems to be a good father, a loving husband, and most importantly, can't argue with those chiselled features and body of his. I am looking through the Oscars photos and... he takes my breath away! I may be in Love.
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(no subject) [Feb. 12th, 2009|12:13 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |pensivepensive]
[Current Music |Raphael Saddiq]

I'm just gonna move right past where I explain/apologise/justify my silence on LJ and post.

I am okay, work is very very very busy but meaningful and intellectually stimulating, and my social life has escalated beyond compare. I previously used to not go anywhere on the weekends, but I no longer have that option/luxury. I love my friends, and I am now meeting new people and making new friends who are very electic and interesting. And I have a blast everytime I'm out. All that's just dandy and I am thankful for my life on a day-to-day basis.

But I seem to be greatly unlucky in romance. I think i may finally have gotten over Othello but not entirely. At this point it is more the love I seem to have for the kind of relationship I had with him than the love that I have/had for him. But the real test of course is how I'd feel if I were to see him in person and especially if I see him with anyone he's dating or in a relationship with. So till the time I can be sure that even the vestiges of my love have vapourised, I'm maintaining the lack of contact with him.

The French tourist thing died down, was resurrected, was breathed fresh life into, even walked with a spring in its step, but all only to finally die down again. For good this time. We had been talking almost everyday and he even came down to Singapore to spend time with me a couple of weeks back, and I realised that I liked him more than I thought I did. But in our brief talk about the subject, I realised there was absolutely no future in this "relationship". After mulling over things, my recent history, I came to a decision that I needed to nip this thing in the bud. Before I somehow ended up getting hurt again. So I told him that no hard feelings, but this had to stop. It's hard, and I miss him, but if it feels like a bummer now, it would be worse in a couple of months. And I just do not have the strength for yet another failed attempt at having a lasting relationship, not when I'm not 100% recovered from the previous one.

Maybe it is the Asian in me, or the age, or just my disposition in life - whatever it is I can't reel in my feelings. I'm all or nothing; I can either do one-nighters or a full-blown I'm-madly-in-love-with-you-and-hopefully-will-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you thing. I am not lookign to get married anytime soon, but I think I have reached that stage where I feel I want a loving long-term relationship that has potential to endure through the future.

Having gotten to that stage, and then realising I'm very likely not going to even have a single interesting date till the time I leave Singapore, has been hard. I really meant it when I said I am very happy with my life on a day-to-day basis - I smile, I laugh, I truly enjoy my moments and what they bring - but sometimes it hits me that for at least the next 6 months to a year, I'm not even going to have a date I'm excited about. And that ... blows.

Compounding that is a fact that I still miss Philly and know there's nothing I can do about that for at least a year. The earliest I can realistically get back to Philly would be summer 2010, being a foreigner and all. I honestly don't know what avenues I can explore for getting a job and moving back to Philly within the year. That's sorta left me feeling down, too.

In sum: I'm happy, I'm okay, but...

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Happy 2009! [Dec. 31st, 2008|05:18 pm]
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood |optimisticoptimistic]

On this last day of 2008, a post to remind myself that:

1. I am generally happy;

2. I have a job I love to do;

3. It's a stable job;

4. I have stable, loving, decent family;

5. A terrific set of friends;

6. A good boss & excellent colleagues;

7. General health & income-earning potential.

Things could be a lot worse.

Happy New Year to everyone!

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2008 in review [Dec. 23rd, 2008|03:48 pm]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Stolen unabashedly from auntpurl :

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Became an attorney.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn't make resolutions, but vaguely plan on making some

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A cousin of mine had a boy. This cousin and I used to be quite close sometime back and suppose we still are, although we talk a lot less.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
United States, India, Thailand.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Peace of mind. Better pay. And a better body.

7. What dates will you remember from 2008?
Oct 7th - when I found out I passed the PA bar. Feb 5th - when Othello broke up with me. July 5th - when Othello told me he did not love me anymore and was seeing someone else seriously.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? .
Passing the PA bar.

9. What was your biggest failure? 
Not getting over Othello.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

11. What was the best thing you bought/received?
Bought too many things I like.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Obama's. Honourable mention goes to Michelle Obama.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin's.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I am ashamed to say I spent a boatload on clothes and accessories this year. And food & alcohol.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? .
Passing the bar, the Phillies' "world fuckin" championship, Obama's victory.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
Amy Winehouse's Back to Black, You know I'm no good; Timbaland's Give it to me, The way I are, Boardmeeting, and Bombay.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: fatter or thinner? Slightly thinner.
richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

20. How will you be spending Christmas? .
I don't celebrate it, but I guess I will be lounging at home watching tv and cleaning (hopefully).

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, but I managed to cling onto love that should have been given the boot.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Damages. 24 is a dangerously close second.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

25. What was the best book you read?
I have no answer to this.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Anoushka Shankar.

27. What did you want and get?
PA Bar membership.

28. What did you want and not get? 
This is predictable - Othello.

29. What were your favorite films of this year? .
The Dark Knight.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I boycotted my birthday this year and made sure I was on the plane somewhere over central Asia on my birthday to avoid celebrating it.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Either a set career as an attorney (S'pore or the US), or a stable romantic relationship with Othello.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Quite commendable.

33. What kept you sane?
My job & kickass friends.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Christian Bale. He's YUMMY.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The bailouts. If the US Presidential election qualifies as an "issue", then that.

36. Who did you miss?
Othello (this answer is getting boring).

37. Who was the best new person you met?
The whole bunch of people at work. They seriously make my day everyday.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Consequences can be severely dire sometimes.
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Vacation [Dec. 12th, 2008|10:34 am]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |contentcontent]

Hi all, I'm going to be in india for the next 10 days. Posting will be either nil or very spotty till the 23rd. See you when I'm back.
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2008|10:49 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Location |Office]
[Current Mood |gloomygloomy]
[Current Music |Anoushka Shankar]

It's been ages since I posted anything substantial. A few things have been getting in the way of that - nothing of substance has really happened. That said, here are a few things worth mentioning.

I got my paperwork sorted and am now finally a PA attorney. The next step is for me to talk to Boss and try to get promoted at work, as a Foreign Lawyer. Things at work have been kinda quiet this weke since half my team is on leave and most of the major pieces of work for the year are done. I suppose I shoudl take this opportunity to talk to my boss but man, I am not looking forward to it. Mostly because I'm afraid I'll be told status quo is gonna be maintained. The firm holds all the chips and given the economic climate, it is most likely to say just that. Which is terribly unfair and all that, but what am I gonna do right. Throw in the towel?

Next Friday, I am going to India with my folks for a week. To visit a couple of temples, and my grandparents and some uncles and aunts, whom I haven't seen in 6 years. The last time I met them was before I left for the US, close to 6 years ago.

My social life's humming but only because I'm going out with friends. No guys in the picture. I've come to the conclusion that being a single non-Chinese girl in S'pore past the age of 25 can never be good. Relationship-wise. I don't mind dating anyone younger than me but most non-Chinese younger guys are married, sometimes with kids. And I just don't find Chinese guys attractive, purely from an aesthetics perspective. No racism to it, which is kinda bad cos if there were, I might at least try to change that mindset! The worst thing is that the whites in S'pore seem to have yellow fever; Chinese girls are IT. That's taking some getting used to, coming from Philly. And of course, it narrows the dating pool considerably for me. So basically I should move out of S'pore if I want to start dating again without totally compromising my standards.

Which leads to my next woe. As much as I miss Philly and the US in general, I don't see how I can get back in the next year. The earliest i can see it happening is early 2010. It's demotivating to see news on layoffs, especially in the legal circles, and it does nothing to motivate me to send out resumes or whatever.

All in all, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and see no way out of it. My day-to-day life is just fine, because it is filled with a myriad of distractions. But if I pause to think about the big picture, about my life as a whole, it is terrifying and saddening.
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